Well many of you know that I have become fascinated by the body of work known as “Radical Forgiveness” in the last few months. It is to me the most powerful work I have studied and I have studied 
a LOT! As I share this work with friends and clients I am finding that there is a real fear out there of feeling one’s feelings. Over and over people resist the processes of Radical Forgiveness because it asks you in Step 2 of its 5 step process to “feel your feelings.”
You know, when I was studying at Innervisions Institute for Spiritual Development I distinctly remember hearing my teacher Iyanla Vanzant saying that if it is an emotional wound it is going to take an emotional healing. Well I confess I didn’t know what she meant by that back then, but today I do. It means that you can’t heal, what you can’t feel. Marianne Williamson addresses this same thing in one of the many of her CD’s I listen to often. She says that we must get into the mind space of the emotion that we were in when our wounds were created and shift the perception of them to something greater, something more positive. To those of you who are students of A Course in Miracles, you know that a miracle is defined as a “shift in perception.” That is exactly what Radical Forgiveness does and it does it in a matter of minutes instead of the years that traditional therapy takes to do it.
The fact of the matter is that we are all walking around with poison in our subconscious minds. The poison comes from years of stuffed emotions from childhood and beyond. What does a kid do when they feel abandoned, or that their feelings have been hurt, or that someone has abused them physically or sexually? They shut up, blame themselves and swallow their feelings. By the way swallowing feelings is the major cause for the obesity that our society is suffering from as well. On top of the initial infractions in childhood, our Higher Selves repeat the patterns over and over for us until we decide to wake up and get some healing work done.
Until we do, these wounds grow and grow, getting bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier. Soon they weigh so much that they start dropping down from the subtle bodies that surround our physical body. They may start in the spiritual body and then drop down to the emotional body, then down to the mental body, to the etheric body until finally they enter the physical body. And what do they come in as? They come in as cancerous tumors, heart dis-ease, diabetes and all other forms of physical illness. All cancer starts with depression and depression is often caused by unrelenting resentment against others as well as guilt and self blame.
The process of Radical Forgiveness can literally save lives. Learning how to resolve those old upsets with your self and others is critical to good physical and emotional health.
Radical Forgiveness can also clear away subconscious blocks to living the life of your dreams. Not living up to your potential? Fearful of moving in the direction of your dreams? Try Radical Forgiveness. When did you learn about fear? As a little kid. Mom and Dad did to us what their folks did to them… instill fear. Not to mention the teachers, the neighborhood bullies, the incestuous family members. This is nothing to beat them up about or even go back and discuss with them, but the damage that was done doesn’t go away just using our conscious minds as we do with traditional forgiveness. Our conscious mind only manages 10% of our mental activity whereas the subconscious mind manages 60% and the unconscious mind manages the other 30%.
Using the Radical Forgiveness process allows you to bring forth those emotions in a very short time span and then takes you through the process of shifting out of the toxic interpretation of them to a view of the perfection of them. It may not feel so wonderful while you are in the process; in fact I liken it to vomiting poison. That is certainly an unpleasant task at the time, but WELL worth the exercise.
Finally this part might seem suspect if you are not a student of metaphysics, but I believe that if you shift the energy in your body (and in your DNA), you will be shifting it in the DNA of your children and the children of generations to come. Whatever concerns you about your children is a reflection of something that YOU are hiding or repressing. Everyone in our world is our mirror. As Iyanla taught us, when you heal everyone around you will either change or go away. When you heal yourself, you are giving your kids a new lease on life as well. So if you can’t do the work for yourself… do it for your kids… and your grandkids.
If for any reason you are not feeling well physically, or you think you are getting the short end of the stick financially, emotionally, or in any other way not feeling like life is showing up as you would like, I highly recommend that you give Radical Forgiveness a try. You can buy the book Radical Forgiveness and download many free tools at http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/.
I am currently studying to be a Radical Forgiveness coach. I offer such coaching at a discount now until I complete my certification. Check me out at my new web site http://kymsconsciousconversations.com/. While there go out to my blog spot and shoot me any questions that you may have. If you write to me there and I will share how I have had a major shift in my life since I started this work just this past December.
Learn to feel your feelings and you can free your mind, body and spirit!
a LOT! As I share this work with friends and clients I am finding that there is a real fear out there of feeling one’s feelings. Over and over people resist the processes of Radical Forgiveness because it asks you in Step 2 of its 5 step process to “feel your feelings.”You know, when I was studying at Innervisions Institute for Spiritual Development I distinctly remember hearing my teacher Iyanla Vanzant saying that if it is an emotional wound it is going to take an emotional healing. Well I confess I didn’t know what she meant by that back then, but today I do. It means that you can’t heal, what you can’t feel. Marianne Williamson addresses this same thing in one of the many of her CD’s I listen to often. She says that we must get into the mind space of the emotion that we were in when our wounds were created and shift the perception of them to something greater, something more positive. To those of you who are students of A Course in Miracles, you know that a miracle is defined as a “shift in perception.” That is exactly what Radical Forgiveness does and it does it in a matter of minutes instead of the years that traditional therapy takes to do it.
The fact of the matter is that we are all walking around with poison in our subconscious minds. The poison comes from years of stuffed emotions from childhood and beyond. What does a kid do when they feel abandoned, or that their feelings have been hurt, or that someone has abused them physically or sexually? They shut up, blame themselves and swallow their feelings. By the way swallowing feelings is the major cause for the obesity that our society is suffering from as well. On top of the initial infractions in childhood, our Higher Selves repeat the patterns over and over for us until we decide to wake up and get some healing work done.
Until we do, these wounds grow and grow, getting bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier. Soon they weigh so much that they start dropping down from the subtle bodies that surround our physical body. They may start in the spiritual body and then drop down to the emotional body, then down to the mental body, to the etheric body until finally they enter the physical body. And what do they come in as? They come in as cancerous tumors, heart dis-ease, diabetes and all other forms of physical illness. All cancer starts with depression and depression is often caused by unrelenting resentment against others as well as guilt and self blame.
The process of Radical Forgiveness can literally save lives. Learning how to resolve those old upsets with your self and others is critical to good physical and emotional health.
Radical Forgiveness can also clear away subconscious blocks to living the life of your dreams. Not living up to your potential? Fearful of moving in the direction of your dreams? Try Radical Forgiveness. When did you learn about fear? As a little kid. Mom and Dad did to us what their folks did to them… instill fear. Not to mention the teachers, the neighborhood bullies, the incestuous family members. This is nothing to beat them up about or even go back and discuss with them, but the damage that was done doesn’t go away just using our conscious minds as we do with traditional forgiveness. Our conscious mind only manages 10% of our mental activity whereas the subconscious mind manages 60% and the unconscious mind manages the other 30%.
Using the Radical Forgiveness process allows you to bring forth those emotions in a very short time span and then takes you through the process of shifting out of the toxic interpretation of them to a view of the perfection of them. It may not feel so wonderful while you are in the process; in fact I liken it to vomiting poison. That is certainly an unpleasant task at the time, but WELL worth the exercise.
Finally this part might seem suspect if you are not a student of metaphysics, but I believe that if you shift the energy in your body (and in your DNA), you will be shifting it in the DNA of your children and the children of generations to come. Whatever concerns you about your children is a reflection of something that YOU are hiding or repressing. Everyone in our world is our mirror. As Iyanla taught us, when you heal everyone around you will either change or go away. When you heal yourself, you are giving your kids a new lease on life as well. So if you can’t do the work for yourself… do it for your kids… and your grandkids.
If for any reason you are not feeling well physically, or you think you are getting the short end of the stick financially, emotionally, or in any other way not feeling like life is showing up as you would like, I highly recommend that you give Radical Forgiveness a try. You can buy the book Radical Forgiveness and download many free tools at http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/.
I am currently studying to be a Radical Forgiveness coach. I offer such coaching at a discount now until I complete my certification. Check me out at my new web site http://kymsconsciousconversations.com/. While there go out to my blog spot and shoot me any questions that you may have. If you write to me there and I will share how I have had a major shift in my life since I started this work just this past December.
Learn to feel your feelings and you can free your mind, body and spirit!
2 comments:
I'm surprised no one has commented about your points regarding emotions. The condition you describe is very clear to me. Whenever we see adults take on radical shifts in behavior, or harm each other for seemingly no reason, or get extremely defensive, I'm confident there's emotional harm somewhere at the root.
In particular, I'm seeing this syndrome quite often in marriage and divorce matters. Several men who have gone through divorce have told me that most people who know their ex-wives casually, could not understand why someone would break up from such friendly, charitable women. But what most people never saw was how poorly the wives treated their husbands compared to just about anyone else in their lives. Many times, this stemmed from abuse the women endured before marriage, and have chosen to shelter the pain rather than exorcise it. They wanted the social acceptance and legitmacy they perceived was part of being married. But because of the abuse, they felt the world had unfairly injured them, and black men are responsible in particular. Since someone close to them probably committed the abuse, these women can't bring themselves to trust their own husbands, who for years has no idea what the problem is. They wanted to be married with children, but never intended to be a loving, reliable spouse.
Certainly parallel disorders exist among men. But I bring up the condition I've experienced among women, because I don't feel it's given enough attention.
I call it "putting barbed wire fencing" around our emotional pain. As soon as someone else senses the pain is there, and tries to get the wounded person to acknowledge it, it's like dealing with a rattlesnake backed in a corner.
Thanks for sharing.
Yes Carlton I agree whole-heartedly that the wounds many women have experienced in childhood absolutely cause their current day behavior and they color their interpretation of people and situations. I also believe that the men in the situations that you speak of subconsciously drew these women in to help them to grow spiritually as well. It is always a two-way street. All victims need perpetrators and vice-versa. What is it about the man's self-esteem that drew an abusive woman into his life? This is no different than situations where the women are abused.
We are all mirrors to each other. When we feel that we have done something inexcusable we may bury the memory consciously, but on an unconscious level we draw someone in to punish us. Or at some point we could have been an abuser... heck it could have been that we abused the pet cat, and then buried that memory after we got caught and shamed for it. Needless to say if we never have abused others, perhaps we have a pattern of abusing ourselves. One way or the other who ever it is that is in your world is mirroring something in you that needs to be transcended. (I am trying to get away from using the word "heal" because it implies that something is "wrong". I don't think that anything is "right" or "wrong", it just is.
The wonderful thing is that once we know this, we can stop blaming other people and begin the process of transcending our wounds. There are many tools that can accomplish this but my personal favorites are the tools of Radical Forgiveness. Using them regularly creates the necessary energy shift that will eventually prevent one from attracting "abusive" people into their lives. As for the people that are already there, one of the first things Iyanla taught us was that once we "heal" the people in our lives (Wayne Dyer calls them"petty tyrants") will either change or go away. With the proper work I believe that many marriages could be saved or at a minimum ended with love.
Let me know your thoughts!
Peace & Blessings!
Kym
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